humans

The invitation was my favourite kind: 'Come over for a curry and you can bring your human,' said the email. 'Provided that she is well behaved.'

Humans, as we all know, are a doglet's best friend and for the most part they make loyal and faithful companions.

However, you can never guarantee that they will behave.

When they do displease you, one of the ways that you can let them know is to confiscate their toys.

Mine has two of each, all lined up in row, so this takes a little effort. I fetch them from the bedroom and carry them downstairs to my doughnut, one at a time (as shown).

Your pet will protest and might even shout – as is the case when I confiscate a glittery black pair with little mirrors on them – but this is an excellent way to remind them who is in charge.

PS: As you can probably see from this photo, I have a new haircut. My human actually sniggered when she came to collect me from the coiffeuse. Sometimes, humans can be so insensitive.

PPS: My entire social life has ground to a halt until I've been to the vet to be treated for a few stupid fleas.