I've been in Spain for the past week, doing an intensive Spanish course. Although it was supposed to be 'beginner' level the four other people in my group, could already speak in sentences. Helmut, the heavy metal fan from Germany for example, had been studying it for a year.
Since, I really was an absolute beginner - the only word I knew was hola - I quickly established myself as the weakest link in the group, shaking my head blankly whenever the teacher asked me a question.
And so what have I learnt after a week? That vino, rather charmingly, is pronounced 'beano' and that grazia is actually pronounced 'grathia.' I can also tell people that I like children and animals - just like Miss World. Oh and of course, most useful of all, no hablo espagnol.